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Divorce Stages

Weekly post helping you navigate your divorce & its impact on your life.

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Are you considering a divorce and feeling overwhelmed by the process? A divorce coach can help guide you through the various stages of divorce so that you can move forward with your life.

Thinking of Divorce / Deciding


Putting a stop to a marriage is not something that happens overnight. Most times, the relationship would have been deteriorating for a long time. Also, divorce does not happen in an instant, it is a process. Deciding to get a divorce can be one of the most difficult and emotionally demanding decisions a person could make, no matter how long you've been married. That is why it can be very helpful to have support from a divorce coach during this initial stage.  Finding clarity of thought during this turbulent time can sometimes be challenging.  A divorce coach has experience with divorce and understands the emotional complexities brought with it. They understand how confusing and complex the divorce process can be and will work with you every step of the way. 

As divorce coach, we have the expertise to help you:


  • Explain you the different ways to divorce: Litigation vs Mediation vs Collaborative divorce

  • Share insight on what to expect and the divorce proces

  • Address your fear and concerns, and provide emotional support

  • Provide helpful resources 

  • Educate you with techniques to regulate emotions 

  • Explore your options together

  • Weigh personal and financial decisions

  • Help you explore questions such as 'What do I want?' or 'How can I find empowerment within my divorce?' "How will I budget my new lifestyle?'

  • Empower you by bringing insight into solutions that give you power over your situation. 


Divorce coaching in the beginning stages of divorce provides you with an unbiased ear for your struggles. It allows you to approach your future with a plan so that you can make informed choices about your divorce to help you gain clarity and peace of mind as you start on this journey toward your new future.

Starting the Divorce Process


Fashion Photography

If you’ve made the decision to divorce, you have some important decisions to make regarding your parted lives.  Keep in mind how your actions can be interpreted by the court and remain mindful that whatever decisions you make could affect any divorce agreements and your future after divorce. Thinking things through now, while being respectful of one other can make all the difference later on in proceedings.


Type of Divorce:

After deciding to get a divorce the next step may be deciding what type of divorce.  A Divorce Coaching can educate you about different types so that you can explore which one fits your situation.  You may choose between the three main options

  • Mediation, 

  • Litigation, 

  • Collaborative Divorce.


You may wonder; “Which divorce is better?”  

A divorce coach can educate you about these three main types of divorce and others as well.


Understanding your Rights under Divorce Laws

The first step in preparing for divorce is understanding your rights under your state's divorce laws. You should always speak with an experienced family law attorney who can explain the laws specific to your area and provide guidance throughout the process. Depending on where you reside, you may be entitled to receive spousal support, child support, custody and visitation rights, or even access to marital assets such as property and investments. 


Divorce--where to start:

Often the divorce process starts by filing paperwork and legal requirements.  Knowing how you will proceed will help you prepare.  You may wonder if you will decide to have a discussion with your spouse and inform them or have a lawyer contact them or will a Marshall deliver them papers.  Often people ask  “Which divorce papers do I file?” or “What divorce papers do I need?”  Or perhaps you are on the receiving end of being asked for a divorce and need help with what to do next. 

Stages of Starting a Divorce:

To help handle the emotional and mental burdens brought on by divorce, it can be helpful to be educated about and know the breakdown of the divorce process into distinct stages. There are also stages within the stages. Typically, divorce includes:

  • a filing period, 

  • discovery period, 

  • negotiation period and 

  • finalization of divorce documents. 


Along the way, divorce coaching may also be necessary and beneficial as it can provide needed emotional support as well as advice about the divorce process. If you are struggling with preparing for the beginning stages of starting the divorce process and would like to find out how divorce coaching could help you with each stage of the process, consider reaching out to a divorce coach today to learn more.

Will you have a Divorce Cooling-Off Period ?

Depending on your state’s laws, there may be certain steps that need to be taken before a divorce is finalized. Some states require a “cooling-off period” between filing for divorce and having it finalized. This period usually lasts anywhere from 30 days to 6 months depending on where you live. It is important to understand any cooling-off periods required by your state so that you can plan accordingly for when the finalization date will occur. 


Divorce Impact on Children:


When it comes to the difficult decision of divorce, one of the biggest concerns for many women is how their children will be affected. A common question is “Will divorce ruin my child?” and many are worried about what divorce does to a child. It is important to consider when and how you should tell them about your decision to end the marriage. Depending on their age, different approaches may be used to help them understand the changes that will occur in their lives. Parenting classes, social workers, and divorce coaches can all provide valuable guidance on how to handle these difficult conversations. It is important for kids to understand that both parents will remain involved in their lives and that they are not responsible for the divorce in any way. By having an appropriate plan in place prior to telling your children, it can help make the process less stressful and give you greater peace of mind during this challenging time.  Mothers often also worry about the financial impact of divorce on thier children. A Divorce coach can also help you consider all the future financial impacts of divorce for your child such as Child Support formulas if your state has them to planning for College. They can also provide advice on how to talk to your children about the changes in a sensitive and appropriate way. The most important thing is that both parents agree on how they will communicate with their children throughout the process so there are no misunderstandings and everyone's feelings are respected. Overall, it is important to remember that children need love and support.


Divorce Living Arrangements:


Factors that should be considered when beginning divorce proceedings:

  • Will you plan to separate or remain living together?

  • Who will move out if needed and when?

  • Who will get the house 

  • Will one spouse move out? 

  • Will both exit the household? 

  • Will you need to sell your home? 


These decisions can have intense emotional implications, so it should be decided with consideration. A Divorce coach can help assist with managing such decisions and guide in navigating the divorce process. As divorce proceedings ensue, those involved should be aware that some states require a separation period before filing for divorce. 


Move out dates should also be discussed in order to maintain a civil relationship, while remaining mindful of potential issues regarding finances and property ownership. 


Divorce Finances: 


People often wonder, “ Will divorce ruin me financially?”


As you begin, your Divorce Coach can help you make a budget and plan for needs and wants such as what decisions should be made concerning joint finances until an agreement is reached.  Your coach can also assist in helping both parties to be mindful of the process and its potential impact. This will help both parties to understand the value of their assets and how they will be divided.


The Divorce Sherpa is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and can help you understand your options and potential implications of each decision.


It is important to be aware of any tax implications that may arise from the decisions you make about your financial and property matters. Your divorce coach can help you understand any tax consequences of your decisions and how to navigate them effectively.


Ultimately, it is crucial that women seeking a divorce seek professional advice to ensure they make the best decisions for their financial security and future. It  is important to ensure that you have the right advice and guidance to make the best decisions for your life post-divorce.


Coping/Emotional Aspects of Divorce:


It is also important to consider any other areas of life that could be affected by a divorce, such as family and close friends. Taking the time to explore different coping mechanisms and ways to manage the emotions associated with divorce can help women prepare for the changes that may come.


Finally, it is important to keep in mind that all divorces are different and require different approaches. Taking the time to understand your unique situation and needs with the help of a Divorce Coach can help make sure that you are able to move forward with your life  after divorce.


Ultimately, deciding on divorce means tackling a variety of hard choices, however with the right support system in place you can make informed decisions as you  begin your divorce journey. 

Midst of Divorce 


Mature Woman

Being in the midst of a Divorce is one of the most trying times in a person's life, but it's also a time of reflection, healing, and growth. Many people feel overwhelmed by the process of divorce and are unsure of what to expect or how to prepare. It’s important to recognize that you have the right to experience all the emotions that come with this transition while keeping your eye on the goal of building a better future. 



Estimating a Timeline


Another important step is determining how long your divorce process might take. While there are many factors that contribute to the timeline, Forbes reports that the average US divorce takes about 12 months from start to finish. If both parties agree on all major issues without arguing over details or attempting manipulation tactics, then it’s possible for it to go much faster than that—but if there are disagreements or complex matters involved (such as high-asset divorces), then it could take much longer than 12 months. Be sure not to underestimate how much time is needed; allow yourself lots of extra time just in case something unexpected comes up during the proceedings. 


Negotiation vs Litigation 

When going through a divorce it is helpful to know whether negotiations will be successful or if litigation will be necessary for resolution. In some cases, couples may opt for mediation or collaborative law as alternatives which can help them settle their differences without having their case heard in court. This route could help expedite resolution while avoiding further contention between spouses throughout the process. On the other hand, if negotiations do not yield an agreement then litigation may become necessary which could increase both time and cost associated with resolving your case.   

Preparing for Court Proceedings        

If your case goes before a judge or mediator, then you’ll need additional preparation beyond just understanding your rights under state law. These court proceedings can include filing financial affidavits with detailed information about assets and liabilities; submitting parenting plans; attending parenting classes; and creating parenting schedules for holidays and other special occasions throughout the year. You should also be aware that there are automatic orders put into place during court proceedings which require both parties adhere to certain guidelines until further notice from either party or from the courts themselves. Additionally, if domestic violence was involved at any point in your marriage then be sure discuss this with your attorney so they can provide additional protections for victims of abuse during this period of transition in life as well as during any future court hearings related to child custody battles or post-divorce conflicts between former spouses who share children together. 


Set Clear Boundaries 

Decide now what boundaries you need in place and start practicing them. Once your divorce is finalized, it's important to set clear boundaries regarding how much contact you want to have with your ex-spouse. Decide when (and if) it would be appropriate for both parties involved to talk about matters related to their children or financial arrangements. Be sure to communicate these expectations clearly so that neither person feels like they are crossing any boundaries or making assumptions about what is expected from them post-divorce. 

Going through a divorce is never easy, but taking ownership over all aspects of it—from understanding your legal rights under state law all way down through preparing for court hearings—will give you peace-of-mind knowing that you did everything possible throughout this challenging process. Although it may take several months (or more) before everything is finalized in court, having an Divorce Coach who is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst by your side can help make sure everything runs smoothly while empowering you to look out for your best interests every step along the way until a final decision has been made regarding spousal support payments, division of assets/debts, parenting plans/schedules/classes, etc. A Divorce Coach can help educate and support you so that you can take control over this difficult yet necessary situation and you can move forward feeling empowered by the decisions made throughout every stage leading up to resolution.

Finalizing the  Divorce 



Divorce is a difficult process, but the final stage can be one of the most challenging. It’s often marked by a sense of exhaustion, grief and anxiety about what the future holds. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The very last stage of divorce can be an opportunity for growth and renewal—but it takes time and effort to get there. 


Obtaining A Final Decree From The Court 

Once all matters related to your contested issues have been resolved (either by negotiation between both parties or by order from a judge) then both parties must sign off on their settlement agreement (or other legal resolution document) before submitting it back into court for approval by a judge who will issue them with their final decree legally ending their marriage once it has been signed by them both and submitted into court records officially marking its conclusion date(s).  You may be surprised by your feelings from joy to sadness. 


Plan for the Day of Divorce

Planning for the day of divorce is extremely important. It should be carefully thought out and organized so that you feel comfortable and prepared. Get enough rest, eat nourishing meals, and drink plenty of water. Remind yourself that no matter what happened in the past, you are strong enough to handle this moment.Planning ahead can help to keep things from becoming too chaotic or emotional during the actual process. Additionally, you should make sure you have a support system in place who can provide emotional strength when needed. The day your divorce is finalized may be bittersweet; it marks the end of one chapter in life and the beginning of another. With proper planning, you can be prepared to handle whatever awaits you in this new stage of life.


Healing after Divorce is a Process


When you’re going through a divorce, it can feel like you’re in an endless cycle of stress. This is normal. Divorce is difficult, so don’t expect yourself to bounce back right away. Instead, accept that healing is a process that will take time. Allow yourself to rest when you need it and to grieve the loss of your marriage without pressure or judgment from others. Don't rush yourself; take as much time as you need until you feel ready to move on emotionally with your life.  Taking care of your mental health and well-being is one of the most important things you can do for yourself during this difficult time in your life.


Focus On Self-Care 

Self-care plays an important role during the final stage of divorce too. It’s easy to neglect our own needs when we're going through tough times, but this only makes things worse in the long run. Make sure you carve out time for activities that give you joy—whether that's taking a walk in nature, listening to music or catching up with friends over coffee. These small moments can make a big difference in your overall wellbeing during this transition period in your life. 


Take Time to Reflect 

When you reach the final stage of divorce, take a moment to reflect on how far you have come in your journey. Even if it feels like it has taken forever, remind yourself that you have gone through each step with strength and courage—and never forget how far you have come! This is an important step in moving forward and preparing yourself for what comes next. 


Set Goals for Your New Life 

The final stage of divorce can also be an exciting opportunity to set new goals for yourself and embrace this fresh start with optimism and hope for the future. Think about what type of career path or lifestyle changes would make you happiest now that you are single again? Or maybe there are leisure activities or hobbies that have always interested you? Take some time alone or talk with trusted friends or family members about setting new goals for yourself—you'll be surprised at how empowering this can be! 


Divorce doesn't have to mean despair; instead, use it as an opportunity for growth and renewal by practicing self-care and setting achievable goals for your new life ahead of you! And remember—healing after divorce is a process, so don't put any extra pressure on yourself if things don't feel okay right away. Focus on creating positive moments each day that bring happiness into your life—you deserve it.


Post Divorce

Portrait of Smiling Woman

Going through a divorce is never easy. It's an emotionally and legally complex process that can take months, or even years, to complete. But once the paperwork has been finalized and the last court hearing is over, it's time to start thinking about the future. Moving on after a divorce isn't simple, but there are some things you can do to make the transition easier. 

This is your opportunity to answer the question: "Can divorce be a good thing?"  It is time to ask yourself how you can turn this event in your life into creating a new and better life.   Women often wonder, will divorce make me happy?

Accepting your New Reality 

The first step in moving on after a divorce is and creating the happy life you want is accepting your new reality. This can be incredibly difficult—especially if you were married for many years—but it’s important to recognize that your life will be different going forward. Many recently divorced woman ask, "Can divorce cause ptsd?" because they feel like they have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after a divorce can be depression, anxiety, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating and intrusive thoughts intense feelings of guilt and shame, avoidance of relationships, and/or sleeping issues.  Taking the time to accept this change will help you move past any lingering feelings of sadness or regret.  Mental Health and Post-Divorce Coaching can be helpful if you find yourself stuck in patterns of stress responses or grief. 


Post- Divorce Finances

Just as it is important to take care of your self emotionally, it is important to take care of financial future. It is timem to set up a new budget.  This might include setting up an emergency fund for unexpected expenses that come up, developing a debt pay off method, and establishing your priorities. Make sure to update your will and accounts if you are changing your name due to the divorce. Plan your investment strategy to ensure your long-term financial plans and to create a retirement plan if possible. 


Finding New Hobbies & Making Friends 

Finally, one of the most important things you can do after a divorce is find new hobbies and make friends who share those interests with you. Having something positive and enjoyable to look forward to every day will help take your mind off the pain of losing a marriage while surrounded by people with similar interests will give you more opportunities for companionship and connection during this transitional period in your life. Whether it’s painting classes or joining an online book club – find something that makes YOU happy. 


Dating After Divorce

Whether you are looking for a long-term relationship or just want to casually date, there are plenty of options available to make it easier. By taking the time to get to know yourself better, starting slow and easing into different dating scenarios, you can become more confident and comfortable in the process. Taking time for yourself and learning from the experiences of those around you can help make post-divorce dating a positive experience that moves you forward on your journey through life. Setting realistic expectations rather than finding “the one” can make all the difference when post-divorce dating. Keeping an open mind and staying true to yourself will help you find the connection that best fits your needs.


While divorcing may feel like it lasts forever at times, eventually it comes to an end – allowing for new beginnings that offer hope and potential for happiness beyond what was once thought possible. As daunting as it may seem at first, try not to forget that there are brighter days ahead waiting for you when all is said and done – just keep journeying until then. With  self-care habits, financial planning, new hobbies, and friendships along the way –you’ll get there sooner than you think.

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